My Lame Life

My Lame Life Author Jen Mann
ISBN-10 9780988408081
Release 2017-04-17
Pages 258
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New York Times bestselling author Jen Mann has written a funny and heartwarming story for fans of Meg Cabot and Rainbow Rowell. My name is Plum Parrish, I’m fourteen, and I’m pretty sure I’m invisible. Not like super power invisible, more like loser invisible. There’s a big difference. I live with my dad who doesn’t realize that a job transfer to Kansas is not a promotion; my s’mother who thinks journaling, cheesy inspo slogans, and mani-pedis can solve my problems; and my twin brother Pax who is so perfect I’m convinced we share absolutely no DNA. Unfortunately, I’m not invisible to them. I love them, but they embarrass me on the daily. Honestly, they would probably say the same about me, because I’m weird, sarcastic, and just a lot. My best friend is ghosting me, and my other best friend is a teacher. The move to Kansas is my opportunity to reinvent myself and embrace my a lot-ness (yes, that is too a word). Sure, I will literally have to battle a live bat, a Queen Bee, and my unruly hair, but I will find my tribe and own who I am.



People I Want to Punch in the Throat

People I Want to Punch in the Throat Author Jen Mann
ISBN-10 9780345549983
Release 2014-09-09
Pages 224
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NATIONAL BESTSELLER A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear From the Trade Paperback edition.



But Did You Die

But Did You Die Author Jen Mann
ISBN-10 9781944123031
Release 2017-06-11
Pages 240
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But Did You Die? is fifth hilarious installment in the New York Time bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. But Did You Die? is a collection of terrible (but also kind of good) parenting advice from some of the funniest moms and dads on the ‘net. And that one super helpful childless friend we all have who loves to tell us we’re parenting wrong. Put your kids in front of the TV and let them eat junk while you read this book and laugh your tail off. We set the bar low so you can feel better about your parenting skills. You’re welcome.



I Still Just Want to Pee Alone

I Still Just Want to Pee Alone Author Jen Mann
ISBN-10 0988408066
Release 2015-03-12
Pages 196
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I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone (Pee Alone #3) Don't miss the third book in this bestselling series! Motherhood is STILL the toughest - and STILL the funniest - job you'll ever love. We know that raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful - TGIF means nothing to a mother! You said it before and you're saying it again, "I STILL just want to pee alone!" I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is ANOTHER collection of hilarious and heartwarming essays from 40 MORE of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Bad Parenting Moments, Let Me Start By Saying, and The Sh*tastrophy. Find essays like: It's Not Pee. It's You. Open Letter to My Daughter: My Mother was Right and You Should Think I Am, Too. And Then God Laughed Flames, Knives, and Fear: A Family Dinner Let's Piss Off the Babies This is Volume 3 of The Pee Alone series.



The Pillars of the Earth

The Pillars of the Earth Author Ken Follett
ISBN-10 9781101442197
Release 2010-06-29
Pages 1008
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#1 New York Times Bestseller Oprah's Book Club Selection The “extraordinary . . . monumental masterpiece” (Booklist) that changed the course of Ken Follett’s already phenomenal career. Look out for Ken's newest book, A Column of Fire, available now. “Follett risks all and comes out a clear winner,” extolled Publishers Weekly on the release of The Pillars of the Earth. A departure for the bestselling thriller writer, the historical epic stunned readers and critics alike with its ambitious scope and gripping humanity. Today, it stands as a testament to Follett’s unassailable command of the written word and to his universal appeal. The Pillars of the Earth tells the story of Philip, prior of Kingsbridge, a devout and resourceful monk driven to build the greatest Gothic cathedral the world has known . . . of Tom, the mason who becomes his architect—a man divided in his soul . . . of the beautiful, elusive Lady Aliena, haunted by a secret shame . . . and of a struggle between good and evil that will turn church against state and brother against brother. A spellbinding epic tale of ambition, anarchy, and absolute power set against the sprawling medieval canvas of twelfth-century England, this is Ken Follett’s historical masterpiece.



My Life

My Life Author Serena Williams
ISBN-10 1847396453
Release 2010-05-21
Pages 257
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One of the biggest stars in tennis, Serena Williams has captured every major title. From growing up in the tough neighborhood of Compton, California, to being trained by her father on courts littered with broken glass and drug paraphernalia, to becoming the top women's player in the world, Serena has proven to be an inspiration to her legions of fans. Her accomplishments have not been won without struggle. She has been derailed by injury, criticized for her unorthodox approach to tennis, and was devastated by the tragic shooting of her older sister. Yet somehow Serena always manages to prevail, both on and off the court. She's applied the same strength and determination that helped her to become a champion to her successful pursuits in philanthropy, fashion, television, and film. In this compelling and poignant memoir, Serena takes an empowering look at her extraordinary life and what is still to come.



You re Never Weird on the Internet Almost

You re Never Weird on the Internet  Almost Author Felicia Day
ISBN-10 9781476785677
Release 2015-08-11
Pages 272
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The instant New York Times bestseller from “queen of the geeks” Felicia Day, You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) is a “relentlessly funny and surprisingly inspirational” (Forbes.com) memoir about her unusual upbringing, her rise to internet stardom, and embracing her weirdness to find her place in the world. When Felicia Day was a girl, all she wanted was to connect with other kids (desperately). Growing up in the Deep South, where she was “home-schooled for hippie reasons,” she looked online to find her tribe. The Internet was in its infancy and she became an early adopter at every stage of its growth—finding joy and unlikely friendships in the emerging digital world. Her relative isolation meant that she could pursue passions like gaming, calculus, and 1930’s detective novels without shame. Because she had no idea how “uncool” she really was. But if it hadn’t been for her strange background—the awkwardness continued when she started college at sixteen, with Mom driving her to campus every day—she might never have had the naïve confidence to forge her own path. Like when she graduated as valedictorian with a math degree and then headed to Hollywood to pursue a career in acting despite having zero contacts. Or when she tired of being typecast as the crazy cat-lady secretary and decided to create her own web series before people in show business understood that online video could be more than just cats chasing laser pointers. Felicia’s rags-to-riches rise to Internet fame launched her career as one of the most influen­tial creators in new media. Ever candid, she opens up about the rough patches along the way, recounting battles with writer’s block, a full-blown gaming addiction, severe anxiety, and depression—and how she reinvented herself when overachieving became overwhelming. Showcasing Felicia’s “engaging and often hilarious voice” (USA TODAY), You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) is proof that everyone should celebrate what makes them different and be brave enough to share it with the world, because anything is possible now—even for a digital misfit.



Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat Author Jen Mann
ISBN-10 9781944123055
Release 2017-09-12
Pages 244
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If you’ve ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Mann’s New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint! This is the book you’ll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book you’ll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last night’s smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book you’ll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted. The Punch List: Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don’t want to have a beer with you. The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn’t have to start with, “When I was at Princeton…”? The martyrs. You get sick days—use one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You’re not that important. Advance Praise for Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: “I’m grateful to all of the people Jen Mann writes about in this book—the condescending managers, undermining editors, the plastic surgeon who helpfully offered free operations during a job interview, and the boss who fired her with a Post-It Note—because they made her into the rage-filled writer we all know and love.” - Jancee Dunn, author of How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids “I connected with Jen Mann’s book more deeply than I’m comfortable with. It was brilliant and gross and hilarious and heartwarming and then hilarious again. I literally couldn’t put it down. For what it’s worth, the only book before this one that I read in one sitting without a break was Dances with Wolves. Don’t judge me.” - James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse



Hex Hall

Hex Hall Author Rachel Hawkins
ISBN-10 9781847389893
Release 2010-04-01
Pages 336
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In the wake of a love spell gone horribly wrong, Sophie Mercer, a sixteen-year-old witch, is shipped off to Hecate Hall, a boarding school for witches, shapeshifters and faeries. The traumas of mortal high school are nothing compared to the goings on at "Freak High." It's bad enough that she has to deal with a trio of mean girls led by the glamorous Elodie, but it's even worse when she begins to fall for Elodie's gorgeous boyfriend, Archer Cross, and frankly terrifying that the trio are an extremely powerful coven of dark witches. But when Sophie begins to learn the disturbing truth about her father, she is forced to face demons both metaphorical and real, and come to terms with her own growing power as a witch.



Graceling

Graceling Author Kristin Cashore
ISBN-10 0547351275
Release 2009-09-07
Pages 480
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Kristin Cashore’s bestselling, award-winning fantasy Graceling tells the story of the vulnerable-yet-strong Katsa, a smart, beautiful teenager who lives in a world where selected people are given a Grace, a special talent that can be anything from dancing to swimming. Katsa’s is killing. As the king’s niece, she is forced to use her extreme skills as his thug. Along the way, Katsa must learn to decipher the true nature of her Grace… and how to put it to good use. A thrilling, action-packed fantasy adventure (and steamy romance!) that will resonate deeply with adolescents trying to find their way in the world. This ebook includes a sample chapter of BITTERBLUE.



The League of Regrettable Superheroes

The League of Regrettable Superheroes Author Jon Morris
ISBN-10 1594747636
Release 2015-06
Pages 256
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You know about Batman, Superman, and Spiderman, but have you heard of Doll Man, Doctor Hormone, or Spider Queen? In "The League of Regrettable Superheroes," you'll meet one hundred of the strangest superheroes ever to see print, complete with backstories, vintage art, and colorful commentary. So prepare yourself for such not-ready-for-prime-time heroes as Bee Man (Batman, but with bees), the Clown (circus-themed crimebuster), the Eye (a giant, floating eyeball; just accept it), and many other oddballs and oddities. Drawing on the entire history of the medium, "The League of Regrettable Superheroes" will appeal to die-hard comics fans, casual comics readers, and anyone who enjoys peering into the stranger corners of pop culture.



Dear Stephanie

Dear Stephanie Author Mandi Castle
ISBN-10 0996317503
Release 2015-05-08
Pages 290
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Paige Preston wants to end her life. After an unsuccessful attempt, she lands herself in mandatory therapy with a sexy psychiatrist. When he and an even more alluring friend begin to help her break down the walls she's spent a lifetime building, Paige begins to see something bigger than herself. Is it enough to pull her out of her dark world and help her finally feel like a human? Or will letting someone in be the final step toward her demise? Dear Stephanie is a sinfully addictive walk through a world of beauty, affluence, and incidental love that effortlessly moves the reader between laughter, tears, heartache, and hope with the turn of every "Paige."



Let s Pretend This Never Happened

Let s Pretend This Never Happened Author Jenny Lawson
ISBN-10 9781101573082
Release 2012-04-17
Pages 384
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From the New York Times bestselling author of Furiously Happy... When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Includes a new chapter! Readers Guide Inside From the Trade Paperback edition.



My Mother She Killed Me My Father He Ate Me

My Mother She Killed Me  My Father He Ate Me Author Kate Bernheimer
ISBN-10 9781101464380
Release 2010-09-28
Pages 576
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The fairy tale lives again in this book of forty new stories by some of the biggest names in contemporary fiction. Neil Gaiman, “Orange” Aimee Bender, “The Color Master” Joyce Carol Oates, “Blue-bearded Lover” Michael Cunningham, “The Wild Swans” These and more than thirty other stories by Francine Prose, Kelly Link, Jim Shepard, Lydia Millet, and many other extraordinary writers make up this thrilling celebration of fairy tales—the ultimate literary costume party. Spinning houses and talking birds. Whispered secrets and borrowed hope. Here are new stories sewn from old skins, gathered by visionary editor Kate Bernheimer and inspired by everything from Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Snow Queen” and “The Little Match Girl” to Charles Perrault’s “Bluebeard” and “Cinderella” to the Brothers Grimm’s “Hansel and Gretel” and “Rumpelstiltskin” to fairy tales by Goethe and Calvino and from China, Japan, Vietnam, Russia, Norway, and Mexico. Fairy tales are our oldest literary tradition, and yet they chart the imaginative frontiers of the twenty-first century as powerfully as they evoke our earliest encounters with literature. This exhilarating collection restores their place in the literary canon.



Mystery Society

Mystery Society Author Steve Niles
ISBN-10 9781600107986
Release 1904-01-01
Pages 132
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Created by Steve Niles and Ashley Wood! Nick Hammond and Anastasia Collins are the Mystery Society and bring new meaning to "underground cult" status! Stealthily avoiding the authorities, this skullduggery duo spend their time and money righting wrongs committed in the world's underbellies.



Don t Get Caught

Don t Get Caught Author Kurt Dinan
ISBN-10 9781492630159
Release 2016-04-01
Pages 336
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10:00 tonight at the water tower. Tell no one. -Chaos Club When Max receives a mysterious invite from the untraceable, epic prank-pulling Chaos Club, he has to ask: why him? After all, he's Mr. 2.5 GPA, Mr. No Social Life. He's Just Max. And his favorite heist movies have taught him this situation calls for Rule #4: Be suspicious. But it's also his one shot to leave Just Max in the dust... Yeah, not so much. Max and four fellow students-who also received invites-are standing on the newly defaced water tower when campus security "catches" them. Definitely a setup. And this time, Max has had enough. It's time for Rule #7: Always get payback. Let the prank war begin. Oceans 11 meets The Breakfast Club in this entertaining, fast-paced debut filled with pranks and cons that will keep readers on their toes, never sure who's pulling the strings or what's coming next.



Middle School The Worst Years of My Life

Middle School  The Worst Years of My Life Author Chris Tebbetts
ISBN-10 031654647X
Release 2016-08-23
Pages 320
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Bestselling author James Patterson's most beloved middle grade protagonist, Rafe Khatchadorian, is getting the Hollywood treatment! A film version of Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life starring Griffin Gluck, Lauren Graham, Rob Riggle, and Thomas Barbusca smashes into theaters in October 2016. In his acclaimed and number-one bestselling middle-grade comic debut, Children's Choice Award Author of the Year James Patterson has never been more hilarious--or heartwarming. Rafe Khatchadorian has enough problems at home without throwing his first year of middle school into the mix. Luckily, he's got an ace plan for the best year ever, if only he can pull it off: With his best friend Leonardo the Silent awarding him points, Rafe tries to break every rule in his school's oppressive Code of Conduct. Chewing gum in class--5,000 points! Running in the hallway--10,000 points! Pulling the fire alarm--50,000 points! But when Rafe's game starts to catch up with him, he'll have to decide if winning is all that matters, or if he's finally ready to face the rules, bullies, and truths he's been avoiding. James Patterson's debut middle-grade novel addresses some of middle schoolers' biggest issues: bullies, first crushes, and finding out what makes each of us special, all with a hilarious main character and fantastic in-text illustrations that are sure to have young readers begging for more!