How to Fight Presidents

How to Fight Presidents Author Daniel O'Brien
ISBN-10 9780385347587
Release 2014-03-18
Pages 272
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Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea. As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence. And now these men—these hallowed leaders of the free world—want to kick your ass. Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.



The De Textbook

The De Textbook Author Cracked.com,
ISBN-10 9780698161528
Release 2013-10-29
Pages 224
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You are an idiot. Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck! But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.



Your Presidential Fantasy Dream Team

Your Presidential Fantasy Dream Team Author Daniel O'Brien
ISBN-10 9780553537499
Release 2016-06-28
Pages 272
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Draft your own presidential fantasy team, based on these hilarious-but-true profiles of our past leaders, in this fun and funny illustrated book perfect for fans of How They Croaked: The Awful Ends of the Awfully Famous and Kid Presidents! What if a zombie apocalypse or a robot uprising threatened the nation and you had the power to recruit some of the nation’s finest presidents to help save the day? By studying the most successful squads in history, Daniel O’Brien has identified the perfect ingredients for a victorious team. Which president would you choose for: the Brain, the Brawn, the Moral Compass, the Loose Cannon, and the Roosevelt? Choose wisely—the fate of the world is in your hands! "Aiming squarely at a sports-obsessed, statistics-mad and gross-out friendly audience, the madcap, utterly irreverent Your Presidential Fantasy Dream Team may be on to something." —New York Times "O'Brien takes a non-holds-barred approach to describing each man's strengths, weaknesses, and reputation . . . Rowntree's over-the-top illustrations picture ratchet up the humor even more." —PW "A warts-and-all look at two centuries of presidential leadership and politics." —Kirkus Reviews



Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody

Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody Author Robert Brockway
ISBN-10 9780307464354
Release 2010-04-06
Pages 288
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Just when you thought you’d accepted your own mortality . . . Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing essays reveal the chilling and very real experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could—or very nearly already did—bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about it—until now: • Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first. • Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space! • Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.” From the Trade Paperback edition.



A Brief History of Vice

A Brief History of Vice Author Robert Evans
ISBN-10 9780698407039
Release 2016-08-09
Pages 272
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"Mixing science, humor, and grossly irresponsible self-experimentation, Evans paints a vivid picture of how bad habits built the world we know and love." —David Wong, author of John Dies at the End History has never been more fun—or more intoxicating. Guns, germs, and steel might have transformed us from hunter-gatherers into modern man, but booze, sex, trash talk, and tripping built our civilization. Cracked editor Robert Evans brings his signature dogged research and lively insight to uncover the many and magnificent ways vice has influenced history, from the prostitute-turned-empress who scored a major victory for women’s rights to the beer that helped create—and destroy—South America's first empire. And Evans goes deeper than simply writing about ancient debauchery; he recreates some of history's most enjoyable (and most painful) vices and includes guides so you can follow along at home. You’ll learn how to: • Trip like a Greek philosopher. • Rave like your Stone Age ancestors. • Get drunk like a Sumerian. • Smoke a nose pipe like a pre–Columbian Native American. A celebration of the brave, drunken pioneers who built our civilization one seemingly bad decision at a time, A Brief History of Vice explores a side of the past that mainstream history books prefer to hide. From the Trade Paperback edition.



License to Quill

License to Quill Author Jacopo della Quercia
ISBN-10 9781466865037
Release 2015-12-15
Pages 320
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License to Quill is a page-turning James Bond-esque spy thriller starring William Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe during history's real life Gunpowder Plot. The story follows the fascinating golden age of English espionage, the tumultuous cold war gripping post-Reformation Europe, the cloak-and-dagger politics of Shakespeare's England, and lastly, the mysterious origins of the Bard's most haunting play: Macbeth. You won't want to miss this fast-paced historical retelling!



The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy

The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy Author Jacopo della Quercia
ISBN-10 9781250025722
Release 2014-08-05
Pages 400
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This historical thriller is an equal-parts cocktail of action, adventure, science-fiction and comedy. The book follows a globe-trotting President Taft and Robert Todd Lincoln in a race to solve a mystery stretching back to the Civil War and the Lincoln assassination. Based on true events, readers will find themselves swept into a vast conspiracy spanning four continents and three oceans during the turn of the century. Fascinating technologies will be harnessed, dark secrets revealed, true villains exposed, and some of the most famous figures in history will take the stage. With surprises lurking around every corner, and a vast cast of characters to root for, Jacopo della Quercia's The Great Abraham Lincoln Pocket Watch Conspiracy is a heart-pounding adventure that only history could have made possible.



Finding Jesus

Finding Jesus Author Winston Rowntree
ISBN-10 9780553418019
Release 2014-10-28
Pages 40
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On each page of Finding Jesus, the Son of God is hidden in a crowded scene--from a rock concert to a wedding to a grocery store. The objective for the reader is to "find Jesus" in the detailed illustrations--and it's not always easy, what with Jesus's propensity for walking on water and turning the other cheek! Darkly funny and pleasantly challenging, this interactive children's book for adults makes the perfect gift for believers and skeptics alike.



The Next Notre Dame Mascot

The Next Notre Dame Mascot Author Glenn Davis
ISBN-10 163177056X
Release 2015-08-04
Pages
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"Mascot Mike does flips and rallies the fans to cheer on his Notre Dame Football team. Mike knows it's time ot retire. Who is going to be the new mascot? An ogre? A clown? Maybe a superhero? Find out who gets to be the next Notre Dame mascot!" -- page [4] of cover.



Naked Came the Stranger

Naked Came the Stranger Author Penelope Ashe
ISBN-10 9781453265888
Release 2012-06-26
Pages 256
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A steamy, bestselling tale of Long Island lust, written as a daring literary hoax by Newsday columnist Mike McGrady and two dozen of his colleagues For talk show host Gillian Blake, the suburbs have long been a paradise. On the radio, she and her husband are Gilly and Billy, local media stars and “New York’s Sweethearts of the Air.” At home they’re the envy of their neighbors. Only in the bedroom is their life less than perfect. When Gillian learns that her husband has a mistress, she takes revenge the only way she can. With each lover she takes, her lust multiplies, until this demure housewife becomes a creature of pure passion. No man on Long Island—be he hippie, mobster, or rabbi—is safe when Gillian goes on the prowl. Written by twenty-four reporters under the moniker of Penelope Ashe, Naked Came the Stranger was an attempt to produce the steamiest and most wildly over-the-top novel of all time—good writing be damned. A sensation upon its first release, forty years later the book remains one of the most sinfully amusing potboilers ever published.



White Waters and Black

White Waters and Black Author Gordon MacCreagh
ISBN-10 0226500187
Release 2001-03-01
Pages 335
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With a wicked eye for absurdities, Gordon MacCreagh recounts his adventures with eight "Eminent Scientificos" as they set out to explore the Amazon in 1923 without any idea of what lies ahead of them: rapids, malaria, monkey stew, and "dangerous savages." A combination of Twain's The Innocents Abroad and a cautionary tale for explorers, this is one of the most honest accounts ever written of a scientific expedition.



A Z of Flower Portraits

A Z of Flower Portraits Author Billy Showell
ISBN-10 1844484521
Release 2010
Pages 128
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Capturing slender stems and fragile flower blossoms, this step-by-step resource updates traditional botanical paintings, adding an elegant, modern flair to flower portraiture. Each of the four project chapters offer insightful case studies, close-up details, and explanations of various styling techniques and finishing methods that give more than 30 flower portraits an organic feel, emphasizing their botanical nature. Arranged in alphabetical order, this comprehensive all-in-one guidebook includes tips for buying the best materials for successful results as well as basic brushstroke and surface techniques?such as wet-into-wet, color blending, lifting out, layering glazes, and dry brushing?that build confidence and motivate aspiring artists.



American Sniper

American Sniper Author Chris Kyle
ISBN-10 9780062306708
Release 2013-10-15
Pages 480
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The #1 New York Times bestselling memoir of U.S. Navy Seal Chris Kyle, and the source for Clint Eastwood’s blockbuster movie which was nominated for six academy awards, including best picture. From 1999 to 2009, U.S. Navy SEAL Chris Kyle recorded the most career sniper kills in United States military history. His fellow American warriors, whom he protected with deadly precision from rooftops and stealth positions during the Iraq War, called him “The Legend”; meanwhile, the enemy feared him so much they named him al-Shaitan (“the devil”) and placed a bounty on his head. Kyle, who was tragically killed in 2013, writes honestly about the pain of war—including the deaths of two close SEAL teammates—and in moving first-person passages throughout, his wife, Taya, speaks openly about the strains of war on their family, as well as on Chris. Gripping and unforgettable, Kyle’s masterful account of his extraordinary battlefield experiences ranks as one of the great war memoirs of all time.



The Defence of Duffer s Drift

The Defence of Duffer s Drift Author Ernest Dunlop Swinton
ISBN-10 UCAL:$B261643
Release 1916
Pages 62
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The Defence of Duffer s Drift has been writing in one form or another for most of life. You can find so many inspiration from The Defence of Duffer s Drift also informative, and entertaining. Click DOWNLOAD or Read Online button to get full The Defence of Duffer s Drift book for free.



The Things They Carried

The Things They Carried Author Tim O'Brien
ISBN-10 9780547420295
Release 2009-10-13
Pages 256
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A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling. The Things They Carried depicts the men of Alpha Company: Jimmy Cross, Henry Dobbins, Rat Kiley, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, Kiowa, and the character Tim O’Brien, who has survived his tour in Vietnam to become a father and writer at the age of forty-three. Taught everywhere—from high school classrooms to graduate seminars in creative writing—it has become required reading for any American and continues to challenge readers in their perceptions of fact and fiction, war and peace, courage and fear and longing. The Things They Carried won France's prestigious Prix du Meilleur Livre Etranger and the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize; it was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award.



Blood and Thunder

Blood and Thunder Author Hampton Sides
ISBN-10 0307387674
Release 2007-10-09
Pages 624
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In the summer of 1846, the Army of the West marched through Santa Fe, en route to invade and occupy the Western territories claimed by Mexico. Fueled by the new ideology of “Manifest Destiny,” this land grab would lead to a decades-long battle between the United States and the Navajos, the fiercely resistant rulers of a huge swath of mountainous desert wilderness.In Blood and Thunder, Hampton Sides gives us a magnificent history of the American conquest of the West. At the center of this sweeping tale is Kit Carson, the trapper, scout, and soldier whose adventures made him a legend. Sides shows us how this illiterate mountain man understood and respected the Western tribes better than any other American, yet willingly followed orders that would ultimately devastate the Navajo nation. Rich in detail and spanning more than three decades, this is an essential addition to our understanding of how the West was really won. From the Trade Paperback edition.



Off the Sidelines

Off the Sidelines Author Kirsten Gillibrand
ISBN-10 0804179077
Release 2014-09-09
Pages 194
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A New York senator who often advocates for women to get more involved in politics discusses her career, marriage, friendships and family.